references
judgement
- Moralistic judgement
- everything is right or wrong
- ”ambtsprache” most dangerous language: I had to, superiors orders, no choice
- everything we do out of fear / reward: everybody pays for it
- never teach / change anybody
- observation vs evaluation or judgement
- don’t make judgements → say the need
- feelings are different from interpretations
- never give someone the power to make you submit or rebel → you are free to choose what you do
- what are the giraffe ears hearing
- you look like a girl → man was bald and would like to have hair
- the root of feelings are needs
- being alive: connected to our needs
power
- power over people: punish and reward
- power with people: attention to need → natural giving
needs
- needs should never include someone else
- don’t mix up need and strategies
requests
- how to make clear requests: tell what you do want, not what you don’t want
- clear action language
- make sure request is not a demand
labels
- Labels lead to self fulfilling prophecies
- do not hear what the jackel speaking person thinks
http://www.mt.nl/1/89292/home/profiteer-als-manager-van-de-geweldloze-communicatie-van-de-giraf.html