If you want to use the nostr protocol, backup your events and not host any random note you need a special version or configuration of a relay.
I’m currently running nostr-rs locked down to only accept my own messages, but would like to also be able to receive posts that I am tagged in
software
- nostr-relay-rs
- whitelist for posting authenticated notes
- https://github.com/bitvora/haven
- also accepts incoming DMS within web of trust